Lady Killer - horror

The fifth time was like a dream. The butterflies had died down right before the rendezvous. Now I know I can do this whenever, and wherever, possibly with whoever, I want. If I have enough time to get ready. A first-class lady-killer! I can charm them, unsuspecting, into my arms. Or into a restaurant, cinema, pub. . . alleyway. Wherever we start off, I’ll get my satisfaction by the end of the night in that final, tight, embrace. I have no doubt.

By the fourth time, freshly showered and shaved, I was starting to develop a style of my own. A self-assured approach towards the woman in question resulted in a better level of trust from the outset, which always helps in these matters. I put in the leg work at dusk, small talk and finding common ground, as always, but rewards tend to come towards the close of an evening. The casual offer of a lift home, and a little mood music on the radio, was all it took to secure some late-night action. I was not disappointed.

The third time wasn’t the cleanest. She was beautiful, made up for the occasion, black cocktail dress. Smart. Kinda funny too. Pretty eyes. Just my type. It was a shame that it had to end. But end it did, following an excellent dinner. I licked my wounds after I licked my lips, though she was a little distracted by my. . . attentions. . . and never really knew she’d inflicted any damage.

The second time I was still new to it but feeling more confident after the first. I knew where I’d gone wrong and was determined not to make the same mistakes twice. I’d dressed down a touch in comparison to my original attempt and, though my hair was freshly cut, I felt less conspicuous somehow. Jeans with a shirt and jacket instead of a full-on suit. Still wore common-place shoes though, you can tell a lot about a man from his shoes if he’s not careful. So can the police.

The first time wasn’t quite right, truth be told. When things go wrong, I try not to panic, but when you’ve got all dressed up with somewhere to go and then you get there and, well . . . Let’s just say she was taller than I expected and probably a little stronger. She took me by surprise with her difficult attitude and determination not to comply. Made me nervous. It’s possible that I was in the wrong, expecting it to be easy. But when you’ve prepped so much, done all your research and polished your tools til you can see your face in them, you don’t foresee quite so much mess. I had to burn my favourite tie along with the plastic sheeting.